In a twist both ironic and unexpected considering its source, the New York Times has carried two stories, one on Friday and the other today, which reflects the continued eroticization of our culture. This is a trend which has been noted for some years, yet inexplicably continues to worsen, even as we individually think that it cannot continue to do so.
The first article, an opinion piece titled Middle School Girls Gone Wild, is the more expected of the two. The tendency to sexualize children of ever younger ages is not new, and is certainly accelerating. What is somewhat unexpected is that the Times would pay much attention. Author Lawrence Downes, however, had the unfortunate experience of attending his daughter’s middle school talent show. He had not been forewarned at what the sixth, seventh and eighth graders were talented at:
They writhe and strut, shake their bottoms, splay their legs, thrust their chests out and in and out again. Some straddle empty chairs, like lap dancers without laps. They don’t smile much. Their faces are locked from grim exertion, from all that leaping up and lying down without poles to hold onto. “Don’t stop don’t stop,†sings Janet Jackson, all whispery. “…Ohh. I’m so stimulated. Feel so X-rated.†The girls spend a lot of time lying on the floor. They are in the sixth, seventh and eighth grades.
As each routine ends, parents and siblings cheer, whistle and applaud. I just sit there, not fully comprehending. It’s my first suburban Long Island middle school talent show. I’m with my daughter, who is 10 and hadn’t warned me. I’m not sure what I had expected, but it wasn’t this. It was something different. Something younger. Something that didn’t make the girls look so … one-dimensional.
What particularly stunned Downes, however, was the enthusiastic acceptance of all of this by the parents. He relates a conversation with a school official, who says they have simply given up:
A teacher at the middle school later told me she had stopped chaperoning dances because she was put off by the boy-girl pelvic thrusting and had no way to stop it — the children wouldn’t listen to her and she had no authority to send anyone home. She guessed that if the school had tried to ban the sexy talent-show routines, parents would have been the first to complain, having shelled out for costumes and private dance lessons for their Little Miss Sunshines.
In the end, the obvious moral issues aside, even the Times correctly identifies the overarching impact on the way that these girls develop, when parents “they allow the culture of boy-toy sexuality to bore unchecked into their little ones’ ears and eyeballs, displacing their nimble and growing brains and impoverishing the sense of wider possibilities in life.” And indeed they are right. What are the wider possibilities of life, be it spiritual or intellectual, when self-esteem is found in the skimpiest of costumes?
The answer may well be found in the bookend article, titled The Graying of Naughty, which appeared this morning in the fashion section, of all places. In it, the Times reported on a new breed of porn star, involving men and women over the age of fifty. The article focuses on a fifty year old woman who began a career in pornographic films using the stage name De’Bella. The article reports approvingly that since last May she has shot some thirty scenes, most involving men who are 19 or 20 years old. Her husband approves, telling the paper “She’s doing it for the right reasons” — whatever those may be.
Nor is she alone. Films involving older women are apparently a growing market segment. And, from the other direction, the article includes a reference to 66 year old Dave Cummings, who is filmed with women as young as the men seen with Ms. De’Bella.
In a sense, we see the closing of the circle, the sexualization of both the very young and those who should know better. The very young should not be sexualized at all. For those as old as I am, sexuality should be less about exhibitionism and more about intimacy and communication. Yet we now find all ages held to the same standard of misbehavior. At one time, the immoral were clearly identified as a minority. Now, if only by our silent consent, the moral are themselves increasingly marginalized.
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